liberating limitations

Why i changed from overindulgence of tools to limiting myself to one simple one. Where is the freedom in that, and what yoga has to do with it. An introduction of sorts.

Posting on fb and insta i completely forgot about this most obvious place here to keep you updated *smack*

Yeah I know, I can’t believe it either. But in my defense, I think the reason is that I put very high standards on this blog. Reading into social media marketing and blablabla and how blog posts should be at least soandsomanywords long and cover captivating topics and yaddayadda – I was a bit stressed about posting here. Didn’t know what to write to capture your interest, so it was much easier to post on fb or insta where I didn’t have to write much.

But i am over it and reintroducing this blog to its former function, aka keeping you updated about my progress and work. That’s why you are here for, and that is my focus anyway. Let’s keep it simple, I thought finally.

I cleaned out my website

…as longterm fans will notice. I used so many techniques and tools I felt like it was too much for audience and clients to know what exactly they can expect. I never knew what to expect. I love trying new techniques so that was a difficult decision, but I thought I would give it a try.

I picked out my long-loved medium, the ballpoint pen.

I use that since I am a teenager, but started perfecting it only a couple years back, maybe 6. I was in a personal crisis and it seemed too much effort to paint with colors on canvas, and also I needed to be able to draw when I needed it. During bus drives, on the metro, in the cafe, on the couch, … you can imagine how awkward it is to carry around a canvas, brushes and acrylics all the time… just thinking about it… I didn’t want those limitations.

So i fell back naturally on black ballpoint pens and a small assortment of colored pencils or even just feltpen to add a little color. It was a very helpful tool to take the stress level down and emotions out. To be able draw, doodle or write down what was pressuring me to be expressed. To externalise the emotions in a way that suited me and didn’t use energy I didn’t have to spare, like sports.

Since then i skipped the pencil and always have my sketchbook and black ballpoint with me. And now I picked this beloved tool to be my one and only.

Mr. Right!

Turns out, to limit myself to more or less to one main tool and technique is not as limiting as I thought. I am getting better at mastering the ballpoint and enjoy discovering my and his potential (ballpoint pen is maskuline in german…)

Point in case, I just read a quote quite fitting in a book about ayurveda:

Limitation is inherent in life. … Either you can willingly limit yourself or nature will limit you. – Dr. R.E. Svoboda

And so the journey began and it feels quite liberating, to spent less time on the computer and more with pen and paper. To make unique drawings that cannot be copied easily, because the lines are partly just too thin. Also I have fable for animals, especially birds right now. To work out their beauty and filigree with pen leaves me stunned too.

Ballpoint yoga

I can much more appreciate the details of Nature’s creations, needing lots of concentration and patience. That’s why I came to call this my ballpoint yoga.

Yoga means, roughly translated, unity.

Yoga deals mainly with the spirit. … Yoga controls body and mind to enable them to harmonise with spirit.

– Dr. R.E. Svoboda

Yes! Well said. So drawing with ballpoint is that for me, it turns out. I have to focus so my mind is quiet while occupied with drawing. And my body holds the pen, I need to stay and keep a tranquility, breathe deeply as to not wiggle the lines, but keep awareness on my body so as not to get stiff or cramped. All my resources are focussed, because you know… you can’t erase ballpoint pen. It’s. I’ve a meditation, which is part of yoga, and it allows a connection to spirit when mind’s everyday chatter is minimized.

More on this another time, gotta go, the sun is shining outside…


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